Bad reviews!

I thought when I left sunny Queensland at the beginning of this year that I had forever escaped the appalling arts coverage of my beloved home state's idiotic newspaper, The Courier Mail. Classical music concerts in Brisbane are mostly reviewed by Patricia Kelly, who has the amazing ability to say absolutely nothing with as much as 500 words; armed with her thesaurus, she attaches scrumptionsly irrelevant and absurd adverbs and adjectives to already idiotic phrases. Little was I to know that Melbourne has Australia's worst classical music reviewer: Clive O'Connell. Music reviews that are unintelligible to the average music-lover are pointless, but there is something seriously wrong when professional musicians can't understand large sections of a review, as in the case of dotty old Clive's ridiculous rantings.